disconsolate by the river vardar

 

there is a peasant grazing his horses by the banks of the river vardar
they munch placidly beneath the shadow of the macedonian television building,
the stone bridge is crumbling like bread crumbs upon stale water.

two hundred fifty denars bought me eggs for breakfast
denars emblazoned with vibrant poppies, sorrowful virgins,
Egyptian goddesses, pink and blue birds of paradise drinking from the source of life,
ancient death masks & cyrillic script...
somehow knowing my wallet is packed with thousands of denars and sacred symbols
makes me feel rich
(though they probably equal about twenty bucks
and are worthless as soon as i cross any border)...

disconsolate by the river vardar i
have been lying on this bench for hours in the afternoon latening sun
afraid to move; earlier i was
enchanted by the spires of the mosques across the river
so i ventured across the stone bridge, into the old city:
and felt the unfamiliar sensation of becoming prey
leered at by countless calculating eyes
hearing calls around corners from the narrow streets in the empty bazaar...

so i recrossed the vardar, having already
had my ass grabbed in the desolate shopping mall that morning,
pacing along the river hyped up and wondering
if there was any safe place in skopje...
people told me it was unsafe to walk in the inner city ghettoes of america,
but i always would, even at night no harm done, feeling slightly out of place but...

skopje was different. i became
animal, animal instincts
sharpened, watching the men pissing
in the streets in the sunday sun, watching the decaying
cement buildings and the hondas and the horse-driven carts...

have you ever been in a civilization that was
past its prime?
in america we think that the prime is always coming, that our nation is
a work in progress, but

i fear
what it will be like when the lights go out all over the world
the veneer of civilization is what keeps me from
being raped in the streets, and when the generators die
there will be nothing stopping the animals
from rising.

by nightfall i will shoulder my pack,
catch a ride to kosovo and be
reassured by the UN military forces
with their tanks and machine guns, keeping
that veneer from vanishing, keeping
me from becoming prey for at least another day longer...

 


 

disconsolate by the river liffey




                             									This place is hard and crusty like old bread

                                               									kneaded by the silence of the desolate

and picked apart by pigeonrats.



                             																			Cinder blocks.



                             My socialist boy thinks it'll be a potent place for a revolution.



                             I think their anger is the stupified passion of alcohol,

                                              and they'd rather sleep it off than let it catch.



                              			The river slants obscenely 
to my left

                                             							 the traffic is muted
                                              							the panning all wrong.


                                              						My socks slip below my boots

                                              						pool around my ankles and

                                              						defeated i don't bother to yank them up,

                                              			knowing they will just slip down again.



														Men striding in denim jackets and

														old women with armfuls of lilies and

														nobody knows any more than i do.



								There is no summer in this weatherbeaten land.

								I'll go alone into the summerplace,

								my heart stretching like a rubber band

								that will eventually snap

								back to me.


 


 

dublin blues

 

Been sitting on the pavement of dirty Grafton Street
Been sitting on the pavement of dirty Grafton Street
Waiting some four hours for the boy I'm supposed to meet

Walked up and down to find him but he's not buskin today
Walked up and down to find him but he's not buskin today
Well it's getting cold outside and I'm not sure if I should stay

Irish girls pass around looking weatherbeat
Irish girls pass around looking weatherbeat
Drunken boys a-shoutin, steaming for some meat

Outside of the McDonald's a boy pulls out a tattered shoelace
Outside of the McDonald's a boy pulls out a tattered shoelace
Seen the vial in his hand, seen the empty in his face

Cold Dublin rain driving down into my bone
Cold Dublin rain driving deep into my bone
Think I'm gonna chase the road again alone

 

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